Shaun
A soft knock on my trailer door jolted me from sleep. I groaned as the small sound shot through my head, sharp as a sucker punch to the face. I clutched my skull, wincing at the pain while I glanced around the bright space.
The light bounced off every surface, blinding me and making the pounding in my head exponentially worse.
Half empty bottles of whiskey and liquor cluttered the breakfast bar that cut the space in half. Just the sight of them triggered the thirst. The sun streamed through the bottles, refracting light across the walls.
When did the sun come up?
The TV droned in the background, some comedy show I’d switched on when I’d arrived on set at stupid o’clock this morning. It was meant to focus me. Instead, the swirl of alcohol in my veins had lulled me to sleep.
The runner outside knocked again. Every day we did this dance and each day they learned nothing. I dropped my head back against the sofa, groaning rather than shouting at them to leave me the fuck alone like I wanted.
Clearly I was late. Again.
Serves them fucking right for calling me at stupid times.
The 3 AM call times didn’t bother me before Lily —
Don’t go there asshole. You’ll regret it.
Sprawled out on the leather sofa, my stomach churning as that familiar hungover sickness rose up.
I covered my face with a pillow, willing myself to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, the idiot outside refused to take a hint. Instead, they graduated from hesitant to downright violent. The trailer shook around me, the motion making my stomach twist dangerously.
In my right mind, I might have enjoyed torturing the poor sod assigned to me today. As it were, the banging made my head pound like a jackhammer, making my already volatile mood darken.
All I wanted was to crawl back into bed and take down a crate of salt and vinegar crisps. Instead I had to deal with this.
Muttering, I forced myself up and off the sofa. The room spun for a second as I staggered a few steps forward, catching myself against the bar.
Glass tinkled as the counter shook. The golden liquid sloshing around inside captured my attention and for a second, the sound of incessant knocking faded away.
My fingers itched to uncap the whiskey.
One drink won’t hurt, a tiny persuasive voice in the back of my mind whispered. But it wouldn’t be just one drink. I’d already had the one drink today and it would never be enough to drown out reality.
Then have the bottle, that voice pushed.
Only it wasn’t even 10AM. If I drained the bottle, I’d be no better than my abusive, useless father.
Fuck.
I needed to stop before I completely lost myself to the booze like he did. I knew it and my liver would thank me. But if I stopped, if I put the bottle down, how would I block out the pain?
Of course, I had this argument with myself every morning. Every morning I promised myself it would end and then something set me off without fail, driving me back to the bottle.
“Like the annoying fucking knocking,” I ground out, my jaw clenched and my temper fraying with each pulse of pain in my head.
New plan. Remind the runners who’s boss and then drain the pissing bottle and be done with it.
I stormed across the space, my feet slamming against the hardwood floor and shaking the trailer as much as the knocking. I flung open the door, my face screwed up in a scowl, ready to roar at whoever dared disturb me.
I slammed the door open and a pink haired woman scrambled back. A sick satisfaction unfurled inside of me at her shocked expression.
I nearly hit her and I’m amused? What the fuck is wrong with me?
“What?” I shouted, glaring at the bubble gum haired runner.
But then her brown eyes met mine and suddenly I forgot why I was so angry. Nothing could have prepared me for the vision before me. Her plump lips pressed firmly together, sending my mind spinning into the gutter.
She was petite, more than a head shorter than me, with curves in all the right places. The sundress she wore hinted at her delicious figure beneath and my mouth was suddenly dry.
My gaze drifted to her white blonde roots peeking through her bubble gum hair and I felt my cock twitch.
She was beautiful—and I had a feeling that if she stuck around, we’d be trouble...
She pushed her shoulders back, cleared her throat before offering her hand. “Mr Martin, I’m Mona Baines. It’s nice to meet you,” she said, her Scottish accent catching me by surprise.
My first impulse was to take her hand, to feel the warmth of her skin against mine. But I held back the urge. Instead, I forced myself to glare.
“May I come in?” she asked, smiling like she had every right to make my head split open.
Her smile hit me like a blow, my breath catching as arousal slammed through me. I stared down at that coy curve of lips and vivid images filled my mind, desire coiling hot and tight in my gut. Those plump, pink lips wrapped around my aching cock, stretched wide as I thrust between them. The urge to crush my mouth to hers was a physical ache, to swallow her whimpers of pleasure like the finest wine.
I hardened at the thought, heat and need pouring off me in waves I had to fight not to act on. It took every ounce of restraint not to grab her, to back her into the damn trailer and show her what that tempting smile did to me. My hands itched to grip her hips, to lift that flimsy excuse for a dress and lose myself in her.
The pounding in my head was nothing to the pounding desire now raging in my blood. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from that smile, feeling my control slipping with each passing second. How dared she? How dared this gorgeous woman walk in here and undo me with no more than the curve of her mouth?
I fought to regain a measure of composure, to shake off the images crowding my mind and remember why she was here.
Silence stretched between us as I stared her down, grasping for the remnants of anger like a lifeline. She would not best me.
I scowled at the thought. It had been months since I’d slept with a woman, since I’d felt so much as a glimmer of attraction, not since Lily... Not since Lily dumped me like I hadn’t been her rock for more than ten years. She convinced me that we were each other’s end game, that we would always be together no matter the distance or the job. And like a pissing idiot, I’d let her.
Staring at Mona’s pretty face, my anger solidified again, but not towards the woman in front of me. Lily had taken so much from me already, why did my first thought have to be about her? I hadn’t been able to look at a woman with anything but suspicion in months and now she’d ruined this too.
So instead of kissing her and relishing the scandalised shock like I wanted to, I crossed my arms and blocked the doorway.
But neither my glare nor my tough guy act fazed her. She thrust a coffee at me, the smell turning my stomach. Prattling on about Sherry and my order. When did Sherry start telling runners my coffee order?
“Why is my agent telling you my coffee order?” I rasped, my throat dry. Every word hurt.
She blinked up at me, confusion written on her face. “She didn’t tell you?”
My eyes narrowed. What the hell had she done now?
Mona’s confident mask cracked and her smile wilted. “I’m your new assistant.”
New assistant? I didn’t bloody ask for another assistant. Anger sparked in my chest, burning through the desire still lingering from her smile. Would they never stop thinking they knew best how to ‘handle’ me?
I glared at her, resentment rising swift and bitter. Another of Sherry’s bright ideas to puppet my life, forcing attachments I didn’t ask for. As if I couldn’t function without a minder, as if I needed my every step shadowed.
“Not a chance,” I muttered before slamming the door shut and immediately regretted the loud noise.
I’d barely taken two steps when my phone rang. My traitor agent’s name flashed across the screen.
“She had better be lying,” I snapped as soon as I answered the call, my tone sharp and biting.
“Good morning to you too, Shaun. I’m great, thank you for asking,” Sherry chirped, her regular cheery voice like nails on a chalkboard. I held the phone away from my ear with a wince of pain and annoyance.
“Don’t fuck with me right now, Sher. Tell me she’s lying.” The last thing I needed was an assistant. Especially now. Everything set me off, emotions raw and close to the surface.
“Why would she be lying, honey? You need an assistant.”
“I really don’t.” My foul mood deepened by the second. I slammed a fist against the side of the trailer, rattling the thin metal walls.
“Sure, sure,” she said, almost sing-song. I grimaced at her patronising tone. “Whatever you need to tell yourself right now to accept the truth.”
“There’s nothing to accept.” I growled. Couldn’t she leave me in peace? Her grating voice made me want to hurl the phone through a window.
“Considering I hired her and she is your assistant, I’d say there’s lots for you to accept.”
“You did what!” I bellowed, agony ripping through my head at the volume. But my anger burned hotter, always close to erupting.
“Really, Shaun?” Sherry tutted. "How about we save the theatrics for the sound stage?”
“I don’t want an assistant,” I said, ignoring her admonishment. “I’ll just fire this one too.”
“Oh no, you won’t.” All the cheer drained from her voice. “I don’t care what you think. You need her.”
“No, I bloody don’t.”
And I’m getting rid of her right now.
I dropped the phone from my ear and rushed back to the door, just knowing she’d still be out there, waiting to smoke me out.
The door slammed against the side of the trailer as I threw it open again. I fixed the pink pixie with angry eyes and she froze on the spot.
“You!” I shouted, pointing at her. “Just to be clear: I did not hire you. I don’t need you.”
Sherry’s shrill voice exploded from the phone. Begrudgingly, I lifted it back to my ear, holding it slightly away in the misguided hope that the sound wouldn’t gut through me.
“Don’t you dare speak to her that way, do you hear me?” Sherry shrieked. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in already? How many directors and crew refuse to work with you because of your behaviour?”
“It was one time.” I insisted, scowling. Why was she determined to make everything into a drama? “They can’t get their knickers in a twist over one late start.”
“One time?” Sherry shrieked. “You were late three times just last week! You disrupted filming for hours just yesterday after throwing a tantrum over wardrobe. I don’t care if you like it. Mona is your assistant, whether you think you need one or not. She will make sure you arrive to set on schedule and you will get your act together.”
“I don’t need a babysitter. I’m handling it.” I dragged a hand through my hair, tugging at it until a satisfying pinch at the roots calmed the simmer of anger in my blood.
“Clearly you can’t handle it yourself!” Sherry snapped. “And she’s not a babysitter, she’s an assistant, and you will find the last shreds of kindness left in that damaged heart of yours and treat her well. This is non-negotiable, Shaun. The showrunner wants to replace you and if you screw up one more time, he’ll get his wish!”
“That’s ridiculous,” I muttered. “I’m the star! They wouldn’t.”
Silence greeted me on the other end of the line. I could almost see Sherry’s look of disappointment and frustration. After a long moment she sighed, a heavy, defeated sound that mirrored my own internal exhaustion.
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Sherry said at last, sadness leaching into her voice. “You’re off the rails, honey. I know you’re hurting but people will only turn a blind eye for so long. I’m afraid you’re reaching the end of the line. The showrunner won’t keep making allowances.”
I started to argue but she cut me off sharply. “Stop. Just listen for once. You need to accept Mona’s help. She can fix this train wreck if you let her but you have to meet us halfway.”
I clenched my jaw, resentment burning in my chest as I waited for the inevitable ‘I told you so’. But it never came.
“Please Shaun,” Sherry said softly. “Do this so we can get through this show together without another catastrophe. Your talent is too important to throw away over a broken heart.” Her tone took on a pleading note. “Let Mona help minimise distractions so you can focus on your work. Give her a chance; you might find she’s the lifeline you didn’t know you needed.”
The fight slowly drained out of me, leaving behind weary acceptance as her heartfelt words hit their mark. As much as the idea rankled, she was right. If I wanted any hope of survival, I needed to accept the help offered before I self-destructed completely.
“Fine,” I muttered into the phone. “But it’s a trial run. When I say it’s done, it’s done. Are we clear?”
“No, actually we’re not,” Sherry said. “Mona stays until the end of filming. And before you get any ideas, I’ve hired her on behalf of the agency so you can’t fire her.”
I froze as fury bubbled up inside me. How dare she go behind my back! I’d never given permission for an assistant, let alone a babysitter.
“Are you fucking serious?” I exploded. “Pretty sure I employ you, Sherry. Are you enjoying the beach house my fee earned you?”
There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line. I knew I’d hit my mark; Sherry lived well off the exorbitant fees I commanded that afforded her no small amount of comfort.
When she spoke again, her voice was tight. “There’s no need for that. I’m trying to help you, if you’d stop fighting me at every turn!” Sherry said, her voice annoyingly calm. “We’ve worked too hard to get you here, Shaun. I’m not going to let you destroy your career over a woman. I won’t apologise for not running this past you.”
Sherry’s words cut deeper than I’d ever admit. To be reminded how close I was to losing everything stung, another slap to still-raw scars. I never used to need handling or threats to get the job done. Just another failure to add to the list.
“You forget I know you.” She laughed, the sound strained. “You’re determined to drive yourself into the ground and I can’t figure out why — yes, I know Lily broke your heart but you love acting — I’m not going to just sit back and watch you implode.”
Shame burned through me at this weakness, what I’d tried so hard to escape in the roles I poured myself into. I’d worked to the bone to claw my way here, chasing a dream they always said would never be mine. Now all their doubts and disdain were proven true. If this wasn’t ironic justice, what was?
Lily. How her name alone could still stop me in my tracks, I couldn’t say. It almost acted as a reminder of what might have been if I were someone worthy of keeping. She took everything when she left, all the strength I’d found escaping my father and the purpose I’d built this dream on.
But I’d have to be an idiot to fall for Sherry’s idealistic schemes. With the way Mona stared at me, her emotions plain to read in her brown eyes, it left little doubt in my mind. A soft-hearted woman couldn’t save me from my demons.
Only if I told Sherry that, she’d argue her case for the rest of the day.
“I’m telling you this won’t work, but whatever.”
I’d let her think I’d do as she asked. It wouldn’t stop me finding a way to make Mona quit. Given the way she flinched each time I opened the trailer door, it wouldn’t take much. The woman was clearly skittish around me and I was nothing if not persistent when it suited me.
“I’m just asking you to try,” Sherry said.
She wanted a heck of a lot more than that but I didn’t call her on it. Getting her off the phone was all that mattered. I made pleasant sounds that she bought enough to end the call.
I walked down the metal steps, pocketing my phone as I approached her with a deliberate slowness. She tensed, eying me like I might bite her if I got too close. My gaze tracked down her curvy body at the thought. If only.
“What did you say your name was?” I asked as I took the coffee cup from her.
Of course, I remembered her name. The woman worryingly captured my fascination with ease. By the time she left tonight, I might have memorised every inch of her I could see. But she didn’t need to know any of that.
“Mona.”
“Fine, Mona. It looks like you’re my PA.” I sipped the coffee, pulling a face when the lukewarm liquid hit my stomach.
I lowered the cup, breathing deeply while I willed my stomach not to revolt.
“Ground rules,” I said, my voice cutting through the silence like a whip. "Stay out of my way and we’ll be fine. Take my calls. Your number one job is to keep the producers and my agent away from me. Clear?”
I turned to head back to my trailer, done with this conversation. Mona’s next words stopped me in my tracks.
“No dice. I’ll do my job. I’ll keep you on track and that includes keeping you out of a bottle and attending creative meetings with the producers who took a massive gamble on your falling star.”
Falling star? The cheek of this woman!
“Now, wait—”
She raised her hand, cutting me off. “You may not like me. Or the situation, but I’m what you’ve got. It’s me or a huge fee when you fail to complete this show and maybe the end of your career as you know it. You have no choices left.”
When she finally finished her tirade, I glared at her, waiting for her to cower. But she didn’t bend.
“Fine. It’s you. Now do your job and leave me the fuck alone.” I stomped off to my trailer, slamming the door to get away from her.
Seconds later, fists pounded at my door. I threw it open. “What!”
“You’re in make-up in five minutes.”
“Then I’ll go in five.”
“No. It’ll take you five to walk there. You leave now.”
The hard look in her eyes told me she wasn’t going to budge. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Looked like the little firecracker meant business.
“You’re a hard-ass. Anyone ever tell you that?” I muttered.
Mona just smiled and waited. No choice then. I followed her to make-up, my mood worsening with each step. This was going to be a long day. And an even longer six months if I couldn’t figure out how to make her quit or bend.
Now that was an image I could get behind.
